Transitions

In the past we have talked about how we make the transitions in life--things like becoming mothers, retirements and such.  Today I realized that I am in another transition.  I am moving into another stage of life, whether I am ready or not.   My physical problems have been around for a long time.  I realized that I have been wearing wrist braces for over 20 years.  I pretty well gave up the hand stitching almost 10 years ago.  Because I have the will to be independent, and a knowledge of adaptation, I have been able to modify my life's activities to match the physical changes in my abilities. The changes in my abilities are coming much more quickly now, and I have moved beyond the ability to modify my methods and into the need to modify my environment.  The next step (one I may have been in for awhile) is to make deliberate decisions about which activities will have to be abandoned, and which activities will remain necessary but require the assistance of another person.  Now I need to separate my emotional response to all of this from my intellectual response, or understanding, of the process.  There is also a role for the grieving process in all of this.  I fully expect that I will continue to be frustrated, and continue to resist the changes.  And that is a healthy reaction to what is happening to me.

We have also talked about the small rituals we establish for ourselves that mark that transition, and help us in the acceptance. I saw the opportunity to make the appointment for the facial.  I started to wonder how the esthetician would look at an old women with bad skin coming in for this.  No, I'm not looking for the Fountain of Youth, but I am looking for a validation that I am still a woman, with the right to feel good about myself, whatever  capabilities I have.

Thank you for letting me vent.