More and more it's looking like we might be facing another lock down one way or another. In the interest of being ready, I went out again this morning, and got a haircut. It was time, and I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, but now "tis done. This piggy backs on my trip out yesterday, when I bought new underwear. I got an e-mail, as I do just about every day, saying that Pennington's was having a sale. There have been somewhat persistent rumours that they are in trouble, and I know that they've been closing a lot of stores in Canada. They are the last store dedicated to larger women, and there has been conversation on Facebook about how difficult it is for larger women to find clothes. So I decided to do it, again not before time, but yesterday was the day. I found exactly what I wanted, and it was on sale. Cotton, but coloured and with designs. I also found socks, again coloured and with designs. The socks I'm wearing are pink with black cats on them. I have worn nothing but black socks since about the first job I got, as a therapist in 1967.
This whole thing is not only in preparation for a lock down, but also part of a pattern of behaviour that I've had for years. When I'm down on myself, and not creating anything worthwhile, or at all, I spend some time wallowing in my depression, and then make a vow to get over it, and carry on. So the socks and underwear are not only a necessity, but also concrete symbol of my plan to have confidence in myself as a person and as an artist. The whole process was so effective that, while dozing this morning before getting up, the solution to a technical problem that has been making me crazy for about 5 months, suddenly came to me. Now everything appears to have fallen into place in the my studio life.
Hopefully, this is the end of a very down period in my life, and I can stop loosing sleep over it.
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