and here's to mis-understandings...

I had no idea that neither of you knew Mom's diagnosis.  Auntie Ruby told me years ago, and I had understood that she had spoken to both of you, as well. Around the time Mom died, they ( the medical community) were just starting to understand that there were several different types of dementias.  While Mom's type had originally been called Pick's Disease or Alzheimer-Picks Disease, it was one of the very first to be identified, and that was because it has a genetic component.  The primary diagnostic feature is a very early onset.  Her first symptoms were noticed while she was pregnant with you, Cathy. She was also prone to post-partum problems, and that confused the issue.  Just the fact that we have all survived this long without any symptoms means that none of us carry the gene, and none of us could pass it along.  On a lighter side, this doesn't mean that we can't get Alzheimers as we age.  Oh goody!  There was also a question of alcohol with Mom, although it was never a major factor.  Remember all those bottles of sherry?     ?Self medication?

Yes, the two of you bore the brunt of the problems, as I was out of the house.  I have always resented Daddy for not recognizing the problem and attempting to deal with it.  Both Lorraine and Grannie seemed to think Mom was a little weird from the very beginning, and I have sometimes wondered if there wasn't something much longer term that has never come to light. Depression?? But Daddy was of a generation and socio-economic group that preferred to solve their problems quietly and privately.

Beth, I'm sure you were behind her being assessed by that quack of a psychiatrist, the one who thought you were the problem.  That sort of got the ball rolling, in terms of getting her treated.
We know now that getting her out of the house was only part of the solution.  I regret that you had to see the whole thing through, Cathy, more of less on your own, and I know it coloured your life, and still does.