Most of my navel gazing has been studio related and posted on the other blog, but what I'm obsessing over right now is much more personal. Lately, I've been hating my body, mainly because I see the signs of aging, and the negative signs of weight loss. At my age you loose the fat, but not the skin. I think I could almost take flight with the "bat wings" I have. The choices I make are mainly to minimize the appearance of those changes, i.e, long sleeves, long pants, darker colours. The stores where I shop mainly cater to either larger or older women, and the clothing available often features the longer sleeves and darker colours. Secondly, the last time I had my hair coloured and cut, both jobs were done poorly. The poor colour I have to live with for awhile, but I am looking for a new hairdresser, and plan to get it cut again fairly soon.
At some point I need to come to terms with the changes I see--they're not going to go away. The clothes I bought yesterday may be the first steps in accepting who I have become. Other than the muu-muus I used to wear around the house, I haven't owned a dress or skirt in close to 30 years. I even wore a dressy pant outfit to Amber's wedding. It's been years since I wore shorts. I think I bought a pair the first time I went to Cuba--in 2005.
So, now, I have to actually wear the things I bought. The shorts will be the easiest. But, they will look funny with the large, black walking shoes I wear. Egad! What am I going to put on my feet?
I know this is really a "tempest in a teapot", and not something most people worry about. But I have wept over this issue over the last few months, and this first step will be the hardest.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment